greydelisle:

I thought Pitbull’s first name was “Featuring”.

(via unescapable)

jackwhitevevo:

once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes

(via fake-mermaid)

foodchewer:

maybe i’ll be hot tomorrow 

(via fake-mermaid)

(via relahvant)

surprisebitch:

GUYS OH MY GOD IM IN THE BUS RN AND THE BUS STOPPED AND JUST WHEN I GLANCED AT MY WINDOW SIDE I SEE A FUCKING OBAMA CARDBOARD CUTOUT ON SOMEONE’S WINDOW I LAUGHED SO HARD PEOPLE IN THE BUS ARE STARING AT ME RN HELP

surprisebitch:

GUYS OH MY GOD IM IN THE BUS RN AND THE BUS STOPPED AND JUST WHEN I GLANCED AT MY WINDOW SIDE I SEE A FUCKING OBAMA CARDBOARD CUTOUT ON SOMEONE’S WINDOW I LAUGHED SO HARD PEOPLE IN THE BUS ARE STARING AT ME RN HELP

(via ameilonze)

iamsavingtheuniverse:

so my cat does this weird thing where she’ll play with something and then all of a sudden she’ll start meowing because everything single time she gets her claw stuck and then she’ll just look at me meowing because she expects me to get her unstuck. every. single. time. 

(via mrs-augustuswaters)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

algebra is like a 4n language to me

(via hi)

somethingsavage:

Rain-bros

somethingsavage:

Rain-bros

(via dutchster)

(via saint)

teatattoo:

SHOWERS ARE FUCKING INCREDIBLE. OH UR SKIN FEELS STICKY? SHOWER. HAIR A LITTLE GREASY? SHOWER. NEED TO ESCAPE YOUR FAMILY? SHOWER.

That last one.

(via pizza)

suspend:

i dont need a date i need cash

(via happiest)